tl;dr Literally cried. Actual tears. Blew my nose into tissues. So emotional. That ending hits like a bus, I can’t even describe it. Beautiful book.
Not tl;dr (my thoughts as I read):
Oh man, where to start! Right from the first page I was enamored. I can’t think of a better way to explain it other than child-like whimsy. There’s a fantastical element, despite the sci-fi genre, in how it’s written that just feels so innocent and magical, and also very endearing.
A human may have said that sort of existence was lonely, but FLC0776 did not contain the amount of extra rows and columns to conceive of the concept of loneliness.
He wanted to reach out and touch the bot.
No, that wasn’t correct. FLC0776 hadn’t wanted anything in his entire uptime.
“Thank you,” said FLC0776, a pre-programmed nicety.
“Unrequired,” answered the military bot.
It had me reeling from just the first few pages, with the biggest smile on my face and several out-loud chuckles.
The story explores the ‘life’ of robots existing in a human world, seen through the lens of Sterling, and his thoughts and experiences. I’m glad I went through it slowly, giving the work time to digest. There is a lot of depth despite the storyline itself being rather short. It’s not just the typical, “What is the meaning of life?”, “Can robots be ‘alive’?”, it goes further. What does it mean to be you? Who are you? What makes up you? Who are you in relation to others, and what are the costs of reaching inward to discover yourself? Sterling grapples with those questions and many more, as he also travels with Zev, whose way of life is at odds with Sterling’s beliefs, but whose very existence leads to his salvation. Sterling puts his faith into a bot who both fascinates and frightens him, as they travel together in search of robotic paradise.
The characterization and world-building were wonderful and interesting. I agree with another review that it’s ‘both subtle and fully-formed’. Clearly this world is lived in with its characters, it feels very real, but you’re also not bombarded like you are with fantasy novels, with info dumps and intricately specific details, that at least for me, can be overwhelming. You sort of just walk in and you’re there.
But I did have some nit-picks. My main issue was that I wished there were a bit more in the way of descriptions for settings and locations. Just to get a clearer picture of where they are. Some parts were given more imagery than others, but a lot of the time I found myself struggling to ‘ground’ the characters, and ended up leaning heavily on tropes or previous media I’ve consumed to get a better picture.
I will say though, that as the book went on, it did gradually get better. The farther they went on their journey, the deeper into human territory they traversed, the little drops of details, like graffiti, dilapidated structures, and neon lights helped paint a scene. And the part where humans first approach them had me legitimately sweating! Really eloquently written scene, and absolutely terrifying to imagine. (I know there will be a companion book with Inix, I’m eager to read her perspective on her experiences!)
My only other nit-pick was hoping to see more character growth from Sterling. While he does explore emotions, the world, and Zev, I would’ve liked to have seen more self-confidence. There was a lot of “Zev knows all, just trust Zev.” But just a moment where Sterling feels more self-assured to put his foot down rather than always doubt himself would’ve been nice to see.
The visual representation of the internal bot chat was also really cleverly done, and the visuals for THAT scene (I cry) were, oof, my heart. The built up understanding of how the bot chat worked combined with Sterling shutting down and everything glitching out was so sad ;o; Like you WANTED to be able to read it, but you couldn’t, just like him. This whole scene was just…omg. The whole book was building up to this moment and my heart was just RACING.
And okay, I might’ve legit teared up from the first line of chapter 27 after all that. omg ;o;
God damn, that ending though. I have so many thoughts, so many feelings, I’m so overwhelmed, my heart is just screaming, I’m so emotional, my evens cannot. Like ;o;
Like I’m sitting here and I don’t even know what to type. And the epilogue, with Zev, and how things have just…changed. It’s so well done. It hits so hard. Genuinely so emotional. Learning to accept your limitations, your disabilities, just being content to be with the one you love, like I am actually crying. It’s literally just so beautiful.
Hilarious extra at the end though. I love how the “Problem” list gradually gets more and more anomalous related lmaoo
Ahhh this was so good. <3